Is this fair?

VerdunVerdun Posts: 23,348

Look, fixed electrical socket, helped someone with their paperwork with just a cuppa for my trouble, planted hymenocalis bulbs, potted on several perennials, prepared an evening meal, answered 2 scam calls with sarcasm and eaten nothing but healthy foods today.  Ooooo, and tried out my new mower ....lovely image

I happened to close a bedroom wimdow and there it was.......






 a large bar of Cadburys Dairy Milk!  image

It was just lying there.  The label featured a chocolate jug that looked delicious.  I succombed.  I withered.  I was weak. ,I opened it and took a piece.  Tried to wrap it back again but it looked silly.  I have now consumed the lot image.  Had to ...couldnt leave the evidence.  Wrong was delicious image.

now I will be in big trouble image  

I don't care image

I do though image

is it fair?    A moment of weakness and we all have such times, don't we?  Doesn't make me a bad person!

darn it.....I have to get a replacement now don't I? image



  • valerierobertsvalerieroberts Posts: 286

    Lucky it was only a bar of chocolate, it could have been worse!

  • philippa smith2philippa smith2 Posts: 6,275

    Does the owner of the chocolate bar know your weakness Verdun ?  

    If not, surely a sea gull or similar could have swooped and taken it just as easily ?

    If they do know you well.......bit sticky..........overcome by a devil/alien or similar and you have no recollection whatsoever.  Best remember to wipe off any incriminating smears before you try that one thoimage

    Your predicament made me laugh thoimage

  • B3B3 Posts: 5,590

    image#104 on top 500 poetsPoet's PagePoemsCommentsStatsE-BooksBiographyimageimagePoems by Michael Rosen : 1 / 3next poem »Chocolate Cake - Poem by Michael Rosen

    I love chocolate cake.
    And when I was a boy
    I loved it even more.

    Sometimes we used to have it for tea
    and Mum used to say,
    'If there's any left over
    you can have it to take to school
    tomorrow to have at playtime.'
    And the next day I would take it to school
    wrapped up in tin foil
    open it up at playtime
    and sit in the corner of the playground
    eating it,
    you know how the icing on top
    is all shiny and it cracks as you
    bite into it,
    and there's that other kind of icing in
    the middle
    and it sticks to your hands and you
    can lick your fingers
    and lick your lips
    oh it's lovely.

    once we had this chocolate cake for tea
    and later I went to bed
    but while I was in bed
    I found myself waking up
    licking my lips
    and smiling.
    I woke up proper.
    'The chocolate cake.'
    It was the first thing
    1 thought of.

    I could almost see it
    so I thought,
    what if I go downstairs
    and have a little nibble, yeah?

    It was all dark
    everyone was in bed
    so it must have been really late
    but I got out of bed,
    crept out of the door

    there's always a creaky floorboard, isn't there?

    Past Mum and Dad's room,
    careful not to tread on bits of broken toys
    or bits of Lego
    you know what it's like treading on Lego
    with your bare feet,


    into the kitchen
    open the cupboard
    and there it is
    all shining.

    So I take it out of the cupboard
    put it on the table
    and I see that
    there's a few crumbs lying about on the plate,
    so I lick my finger and run my finger all over the crumbs
    scooping them up
    and put them into my mouth.


    In London. Keen but lazy.
  • B3B3 Posts: 5,590


    < br>Then
    I look again
    and on one side where it's been cut,
    it's all crumbly.

    So I take a knife
    I think I'll just tidy that up a bit,
    cut off the crumbly bits
    scoop them all up
    and into the mouth

    oooooommm mmmm

    Look at the cake again.

    That looks a bit funny now,
    one side doesn't match the other
    I'll just even it up a bit, eh?

    Take the knife
    and slice.
    This time the knife makes a little cracky noise
    as it goes through that hard icing on top.

    A whole slice this time,

    into the mouth.

    Oh the icing on top
    and the icing in the middle
    ohhhhhh oooo mmmmmm.

    But now
    I can't stop myself
    Knife -
    1 just take any old slice at it
    and I've got this great big chunk
    and I'm cramming it in
    what a greedy pig
    but it's so nice,

    and there's another
    and another and I'm squealing and I'm smacking my lips
    and I'm stuffing myself with it
    before I know
    I've eaten the lot.
    The whole lot.

    I look at the plate.
    It's all gone.

    Oh no
    they're bound to notice, aren't they,
    a whole chocolate cake doesn't just disappear
    does it?

    What shall 1 do?

    I know. I'll wash the plate up,
    and the knife

    and put them away and maybe no one
    will notice, eh?

    So I do that
    and creep creep creep
    back to bed
    into bed
    doze off
    licking my lips
    with a lovely feeling in my belly.

    In the morning I get up,
    have breakfast,
    Mum's saying,
    'Have you got your dinner money?'
    and I say,
    'And don't forget to take some chocolate cake with you.'
    I stopped breathing.

    'What's the matter,' she says,
    'you normally jump at chocolate cake?'

    I'm still not breathing,
    and she's looking at me very closely now.

    She's looking at me just below my mouth.
    'What's that?' she says.
    'What's what?' I say.

    'What's that there?'
    'There,' she says, pointing at my chin.
    'I don't know,' I say.
    'It looks like chocolate,' she says.
    'It's not chocolate is it?'
    No answer.
    'Is it?'
    'I don't know.'
    She goes to the cupboard
    looks in, up, top, middle, bottom,
    turns back to me.
    'It's gone.
    It's gone.
    You haven't eaten it, have you?'
    'I don't know.'
    'You don't know. You don't know if you've eaten a whole
    chocolate cake or not?
    When? When did you eat it?'

    So I told her,

    and she said
    well what could she say?
    'That's the last time I give you any cake to take
    to school.
    Now go. Get out
    no wait
    not before you've washed your dirty sticky face.'
    I went upstairs
    looked in the mirror
    and there it was,
    just below my mouth,
    a chocolate smudge.
    The give-away.
    Maybe she'll forget about it by next week. 

    Michael Rosen

    In London. Keen but lazy.
  • PalaisglidePalaisglide Posts: 3,241

    Verdun, it depends ! was it Fair trade chocolate if so it is fair, if it was produced by five year olds in Timbuctoo then you should be made to suffer, on second thoughts you may. What if knowing your light fingered habits it had been unwrapped and replaced with  exlax  the stomach upheaval would indeed cure you of purloining other peoples heavenly moment of which you have deprived them, you may yet find yourself ensconced on the big white throne wishing you had not succumbed to that moment of pure madness. My sentence would be seven Hail Mary's then made to eat all the hand holds  on seven Oggies including the dirty finger marks, you never know where those hands have been.

    Which reminds me there is a big cream and jam Dough nut sitting in the kitchen, daughter left it I think by mistake, well hard luck I say as I will shortly be wiping cream off my face.

    You little devil you Verdun.


  • LynLyn Posts: 9,030

    Hope it wasn't the babies choc!

    yuk, handle off the Oggie? Do they make fair trade Oggies? 

    Gardening on the wild, windy west side of Dartmoor. 
  • hogweedhogweed Central ScotlandPosts: 3,024

    It must have been a HUGE bar of chocolate!!! Do you not feel sick? Not through guilt but by consumption!

    'Optimism is the faith that leads to achievement' - Helen Keller
  • DovefromaboveDovefromabove Central Norfolk UKPosts: 45,062

    Theft like that around here is blamed on the blackbirds ........... the Under Gardener thinks I believe him image

    If you stop taking chances, you'll stay where you sit. You won't live any longer, but it'll feel like it.” 
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