Another reason to hate the usa
There's a big conker tree at the end of our road. I run whnever I have to go past it just now. The conkers aren't too bad but the spiky outside bits don't half sting.
To be fair, it was a pretty big pine cone. It would make a good few air fresheners.
I once read a story about a woman who was killed by a duck dying and falling out of the sky! It broke her neck.
No sniggering up the back!
Do not under any circumstances grow flowers! This could attract bees, which could sting a and cause an anaphylactic shock to a susceptible person. If you decide to pave your garden to avoid this, make sure it's that recycled rubber stuff that they use in playgrounds but make sure that it doesn't contain any ...
A relative of mine knocked himself out when he climbed a ladder and forgot that the ceiling fan was on.
One rung higher and he would have knocked his head off
And pay attention to your paths.
A friend asked her teacher round for dinner, they both got rather tipsy, the teacher decided to go home, tripped on a broken paving stone and broke her ankle. Friend called for an amblance, sent the teacher a bunch of flowers. She got a lawyer's letter in reply asking for compensation.
We were all dumbstruck.