Can't prove anything
So I'm digging my first ever border in my new garden. It's proving to be a real task, as I've mentioned in another post. And now it's raining non-stop. Hasn't given up since the beginning of last week, other than yesterday when it was OK. So it's taking me a while to get it sorted out and ready to plant, 'cause I'm not going out in the soaking wet...I'm not quite that mad! Plus the soil is quite 'heavy' so it's no good to work with when it's very wet anyway.
I moved into a bungalow 'cause I can no longer handle stairs and I have various on-going health problems.
I've recently been getting little clues as to how I might be being seen by my neighbors. Just little things, and I know they might be nothing and I might just be taking it all the wrong way(wouldn't be the first time, admittedly). Just things like being asked if I have enough garden bags or if I would like to borrow a sieve etc. I know it sounds like nothing when it's put into type like that.
I worry so much that I might be seen as scruffy or messy and I worry that people will think badly of me. Where I live now is a very well kept cul-de-sac. Everyone has lovely gardens, well kept lawns and lots of colourful plants and borders. People look after things here. I'm starting to worry that they think I won't.
My neighbors are aware that I have health problems, but not the specifics of them. And I'm all too used to people commenting that because I'm 26 that I can't possibly have anything that wrong with me 'cause "I'm still so young". And so maybe I'm just fretting 'cause I have that in my mind.
As I say, it's my first border and I'm having to just take my time with it. I can do it, just not as quickly as I (or anyone else) would like. How long has your borders taken to sort out? Am I just being impatient?
I have herbs and veg in pots at the back, spring bulbs in pots at the front, hanging baskets with salads and flowers. I'm growing more than I ever have before in my little greenhouse. I've bought new hanging baskets for more flowers, herbs and salads, and large pots for my Honeysuckles that I'm hopefully going to be able to 'posh-i-fy' and make big fan supports for them to climb up. And I'll be planting out my tomatoes when it's time. I'm also trying to find a way I can have sunflowers this year (wouldn't have dared have them at my old place, would have just been kicked down and ruined). So it's not like I have nothing to show.
I just want to make a good impression as a new neighbor, and be able to convince them that I do care just as much as they do and I do plan on having a lovely garden too.
Am I just being paranoid and silly?
And I feel I should point out that my neighbors (the ones I know at least) have been very nice to me since I moved. I actually have a fear of people so I can really struggle to go out and especially meeting and being around people I don't know can be impossible for me to cope with, and they're making sure to keep an eye on me and make sure I'm OK : 3