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Ideas for a burial plot

This is my first post but I have been a longtime reader. I would truly value ideas for planting for my daughters gravesite and i hope this doesn't upset anyone as that is not my intention. Over the past three years I have tried wildflowers and while it was wonderful to see butterflies and bees visiting, it always looked untidy. It's the only grave in several hundred which doesn't gave stone/ gravel and I don't want it to look untidy. So I took up the wildflowers. Currently it has four small fairy roses, several types of spring and summer bulbs but otherwise I'm at at loss as to where to go next. It is in a sunny corner, with our homemade compost. I visit it regularly and the minding of it gives me an excuse to stay and potter. I don't want to admit defeat and gravel it over. Any ideas please, have just returned from a visit and feel I have let her down it looks so miserable. Thanks for reading


  • DovefromaboveDovefromabove Posts: 86,957

     Marben image Welcome and thank you for sharing this with us and giving us the opportunity to come up with some ideas for you.  Please don't feel you have let your daughter down - this is not the best time of year for any 'garden' to be looking at its best. 

    I love wild spring flowers and would be very happy to be beneath turf that is sprinkled with snowdrops, wild violets, native daffodils and primroses in the spring, and just lawn daisies through the summertime, but I know that is not to everyone's taste.

    I'm sure some others will come up with more suggestions image

    Gardening in Central Norfolk on improved gritty moraine over chalk ... free-draining.

  • ObelixxObelixx Posts: 29,843

    I am sorry for you loss and understand your desire to have an attractive grave to visit.  I  think you've made a good decision taking up the wildflowers and planting roses and bulbs but you can still plant things to attract bees and other insects.    

    Are the fairy roses tall enough to be underplanted with something like hardy geraniums?   These come in a variety of colours from white through pinks and purples to blue and also vary in size and leaf forms and their flowers are attractive to insects so will keep the wildflower theme going for you.

    Geums are good doers and also come in a variety of flower colours on the warm side of the spectrum if they will look better with the flowers of your roses.  BOth geraniums and geums will disguise the dying foliage of teh bulbs once they go over.

    Lavender is a classic plant combination with roses but again depends on their size.  Munstead and Hidcote are hardy and floriferous and adored by insects such as bees.   They need to be trimmed back after flowering finishes to keep them neat and compact, just cutting into the top inch of the foliage to keep them healthy.  You could use them as a small hedge round the edge of the grave with other plants inside.

    Vendée - 20kms from Atlantic coast.
    "We don't stop playing because we grow old; we grow old because we stop playing." - George Bernard Shaw
  • TootlesTootles Posts: 1,469

    Hi Marben

    What a special place for your plants.  I do hope that there is comfort in working towards the planting that you want. 

    You could try some Alyssum. I found some in my border for the first time this year and it was an absolute joy. Beautiful little clusters of white flowers that just out-bloomed everything else. It seemed to glow with light in the evening. I didn't know what it was so after posting a picture on here, helpful folk identified it for me. i was warned that it can spread, but personally I hope it does as its so pretty. It hasn't disappeared either and at the moment it's a tidy little round ball of green.  It would compliment most things I think.

    Hoping you find the plants thst are right for you and your daughter.



  • MarbenMarben Posts: 2
    Thank you so much- I didn't expect replies so quickly.

    Dovefromabove- thanks for your kind words. I love your ideas, especially wild violets, daffodils.

    Obelixx- thank you the idea of a lavender hedge is perfect. I like the idea of "enclosing" other plantings in a pretty surround. Geraniums are some of my favourites thank you.

    Verdun- thank you for your ideas. My daughter was 12 days old, hence the fairy roses as I always thought if her as our little fairy. Her name is Elizabeth and so we have planted a rose( queen Elizabeth) in our garden.

    Thank you for your wise words.

    Tootles- thank you for the picture- it really is dainty and pretty, this will definitely be included.

    These are great ideas- i gave been so stuck as to what to plant ye have given me an energy that has been badly needed and I truly appreciate it.
  • OldtykeOldtyke Posts: 155

    Viola plants look dainty but are tough, They always remind me of children, and come in very pretty colours.

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