Up here, it's amusing to go to B&Q and ask the young fresh faced assistant for MacNab (pick your own clan)Tartan Paint
We often send the fresh faced engineers for a penny long stand.
Pauline 7, I saw a glass hammer in Murano, Venice. Unused of coarse.
An apprentice at the engineering works where my dad worked was sent for a dozen holes for 1/2 inch washers. He toddled off and came back about half an hour later with a dozen 1/2 inch holes drilled in a metal plate. Only then did he tell his fellow workers that his father was a foreman at an adjoining engineering works.
For some reason nobody tried taking the **** with him again.
We had some work done in our house and the builder sent his apprentice to get a skirting board ladder and a can of dehydrated water.
As a Scout (many years ago) we used to send tenderfeet for smoke benders and left-handed tent peg extractors.
Hammer oil. However it wasn't a joke it was for a Massey power hammer, shame I tore the docket up
When I started teaching, the kids used to get to class early, put the teacher's desk at the back of the room and put the chairs the other side of the desks to face the back. So I used to tell them to 'see how quickly you can get the room back the right way round, I will time you, and then we'll just add that time on to the end of the lesson'. So that was worth it....!