casualties of the battlefield

djjjukdjjjuk Posts: 212

well folks, after years of suffering from oppressive and often aggressive foreign invasion and rule over a large raised area of land by an imperialist regime consisting of weeds, today was the day the rightful owner of the land decided to launch an offensive to claim back the land for the plants.

arriving some years ago to exploit the natural resources and fertility of the land (sound like the british empire dont they! image), they have since become a formidable opponent, forming strong defensive units across the land in difficult to penetrate areas, with particular strongholds around the mountainous old conifer stumps consisting of dandelions, tough grasses and other units of similar refusal-to-die characteristics. overthrow of the regime would not be a simple task.

deciding to take the opportunity to strike when the regime least expected it, the offensive began at 1200 hours when the weed units were basking in the unusually warm spring sunshine and their guards down, knowing a wound left open to the scorching sun would burn their strong roots with fatal consequences. this also saved offensive energy, lots of quick easy wounding and causing slow deaths amongst the ranks, saving valuable energy to confront the stronger units.

weapons at the disposal of the land owner were minimal, with only a carbon steel hand fork and waterproof gloves being brave enough to lead the front line into attack.

the day's battle ended at 1700 hours, with considerable ground being gained and a strong offensive front line established approximately 1 quarter into the mainland. as with any battle, there were considerable losses. on the offensive side, a slightly sore back, hands, and worn hand fork were reported, however the enemy suffered considerably. its at this point it seems right to honour those who fought incredibly resiliently for the enemy, who simply refused to be dug up and die. so we say RIP to the following privates, corporals, leutenants and sergeants of dandelions, grasses and other unknown enemies (these were a handful of many)

image

 

image

 

image

 

and here is how the battlefield looks after day one of battle:

image

 

image

 it would also be fitting to commend the work of general C.S Hand Fork and field marshal W. Gloves. bravo!

image

 enemy positions have been noted for the next attack to be commenced on an unknown date. the following units have been spotted in their droves:

«13

Posts

  • ClaringtonClarington Posts: 4,922

    This is awesome. image

  • djjjukdjjjuk Posts: 212

    image

     

    image

     

    image

     we await an intelligence report of the identification of these enemies, so we can better establish the most efficient way of defeating them and finally claiming victory image

  • nutcutletnutcutlet PeterboroughPosts: 24,510

    last one's a brambleimage

    next last is red deadnettle. not a problem, bees like it

    Lovely post djjjuk, I felt through the sbimage

  • landgirl100landgirl100 Posts: 655

    The second one is red dead nettle, Lamium purpureum, and the third is bramble, Rubus fruticosus. I'm not sure about the first pic, I thought it was groundsel from the small photo but it clearly isn't on enlargement.

  • philippa smith2philippa smith2 Posts: 6,275

    Dijjuk.................Wow................now that IS an offensive..............(attack as opposed to post I should addimage)

    Well done you..............there must be a Medal of some description which should be awarded..............that is if you are able to stand upright to collect it  - bearing in mind the slightly sore back............only slightly ?? image

    Your commentary cheered me up no end.............thanksimage

  • djjjukdjjjuk Posts: 212

    image philippa, the back and hands are no problem. the offensive would have continued but daylight hours were in short supply and the front line needed refreshments image

    thanks for the ID of those 2. there's not that much of the bramble, most of it is grass and dandelions. its well worth the effort to dig it properly, ive dug each bit a foot or so deep removing as much root material as possible. it will be great to plant stuff in it hopefully by autumn image

  • iGrowiGrow Posts: 183
    The only problem with this offensive is that other weed seeds will now be exposed to light which will tend to germinate but a further offensive in 2/3 weeks will eradicate this new problem and more desirable specimens can be planted.



    My father always said that if you keep the outsides looking OK then themes will look after themselves - ever decreasing circles.
  • [Deleted User][Deleted User] Posts: 0
    The user and all related content has been deleted.
  • iGrowiGrow Posts: 183
    Just re-read my last post... "themes" should read "the middles" - bl**dy predictive setting on this phone!
«13
Sign In or Register to comment.