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A prayer for gardeners

God save us from fools who take your best garden fork (full size, not a hand fork) and use it instead of a spade, and when finding an obstruction just keep forcing it (with foot and full weight) until it snaps. 6 month old Fiskars tool and  £60 down the drain. Thanks a lot stepson. No one asked him to do that and he didn't enquire which tool is best.

Sorry to nag but I need to let off steam.  :s


  • pansyfacepansyface PEAK DISTRICT DerbyshirePosts: 20,664
    Next birthday, pop the bill for the new one in a nice bit of gift wrap.😉
    Apophthegm -  a big word for a small thought.
  • BijdezeeBijdezee BPosts: 1,484
    Good idea pansyface. 
  • B3B3 South East LondonPosts: 22,841
    The road to hell is paved with 'helpful ' people's good  intentions. And then you have to thank them for their efforts😕
    In London. Keen but lazy.
  • BijdezeeBijdezee BPosts: 1,484
    Nice Annie, thanks. 
  • pr1mr0sepr1mr0se Posts: 1,173
    A true story in poetic style (sort of!)

    When I moved into a garden the previous owners had
    put lots of plants in wrongly, and although I was quite glad
    to have so many plantings of shrubs and dormant bulbs
    'twas hard to sort it all out, especially one shrub.
    It was will be shallow rooted, said my oldest pal.
    Just dig around and move it.  You can do it, gal!
    So out there with my brand new fork to dig around the roots.
    Shallow?  I should co co - they went down by man foots!       (sorry!)
    I dug some more with spade and fork and then I hit deep root.
    The handle of my brand new fork split underneath my boot!
    So when said friend next came to stay, a sculpture I did make.
    I leant the broken garden fork just like it was a rake.
    Hepworth?  Hurst? no - so much better, fork upon the grass,
    She laughed and laughed at my daft joke, and fell down on her behind!

  • BijdezeeBijdezee BPosts: 1,484
    edited January 2020
    @philippa smith2. There's no way he could lay any paving etc, just doesn't have the wherewithal and I won't be letting him near anything again.

    @Shrinking Violet 
    Nice poetry and story. 

    To be honest, he's lucky I didn't push him into the dyke. It's right there and full this time of year. 

  • Busy-LizzieBusy-Lizzie Posts: 19,485
    I love your poem @AnniD

    I hope the stepson buys you another fork @Bijdezee
    Dordogne and Norfolk
  • wild edgeswild edges The north west of south east WalesPosts: 8,231
    There was a young man from Belgium
    Who was too heavy with his right boot
    He shoved my tool in the ground
    And stamped it around
    Like he didn't give a forkin' hoot.
    Some people bring joy wherever they go. Others, whenever they go. - Mark Twain.
  • BenCottoBenCotto RutlandPosts: 3,785

    That same young son of Belgium

    Used a fork as a fulcrum.

    But ignoring angle and length,

    And simply relying on strength,

    For physics, he said, is bunkum.

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