A prayer for gardeners

Bijdezee

God save us from fools who take your best garden fork (full size, not a hand fork) and use it instead of a spade, and when finding an obstruction just keep forcing it (with foot and full weight) until it snaps. 6 month old Fiskars tool and  £60 down the drain. Thanks a lot stepson. No one asked him to do that and he didn't enquire which tool is best.

Sorry to nag but I need to let off steam. 

pansyface

Next birthday, pop the bill for the new one in a nice bit of gift wrap.😉

Bijdezee

Good idea pansyface. 

AnniD

Oh Lord, save me from the stepson
Who says he's trying to help me.
I never even asked him, 
And now it's a calamity.
My finest fork is broken
It wasn't very cheap,
And now he's gone and bust it
So I'm crying in my sleep.
If you could see your way Lord,
To help me to a win.
The lottery or a scratchcard,
I'm sure it's not a sin.
I'd use the winning money 
To buy a fork brand new,
And if they asked me where l got it,
I'd say it's down to You.
Amen.

B3

The road to hell is paved with 'helpful ' people's good  intentions. And then you have to thank them for their efforts😕

Bijdezee

Nice Annie, thanks. 

pr1mr0se

A true story in poetic style (sort of!)

When I moved into a garden the previous owners had
put lots of plants in wrongly, and although I was quite glad
to have so many plantings of shrubs and dormant bulbs
'twas hard to sort it all out, especially one shrub.
It was will be shallow rooted, said my oldest pal.
Just dig around and move it.  You can do it, gal!
So out there with my brand new fork to dig around the roots.
Shallow?  I should co co - they went down by man foots!       (sorry!)
I dug some more with spade and fork and then I hit deep root.
The handle of my brand new fork split underneath my boot!
So when said friend next came to stay, a sculpture I did make.
I leant the broken garden fork just like it was a rake.
Hepworth?  Hurst? no - so much better, fork upon the grass,
She laughed and laughed at my daft joke, and fell down on her behind!

Bijdezee

@philippa smith2. There's no way he could lay any paving etc, just doesn't have the wherewithal and I won't be letting him near anything again.

@Shrinking Violet 
Nice poetry and story. 

To be honest, he's lucky I didn't push him into the dyke. It's right there and full this time of year. 

Busy-Lizzie

I love your poem @AnniD

I hope the stepson buys you another fork @Bijdezee

wild edges

There was a young man from Belgium

Who was too heavy with his right boot

He shoved my tool in the ground

And stamped it around

Like he didn't give a forkin' hoot.

BenCotto

That same young son of Belgium

Used a fork as a fulcrum.

But ignoring angle and length,

And simply relying on strength,

For physics, he said, is bunkum.