Get a hobby!

24

Posts

  • FairygirlFairygirl west central ScotlandPosts: 25,330
    How unkind of them, GD. You should have said 'this is my hobby, and gives me hours and hours of satisfaction and infinite pleasure'.

    I wonder what hobbies they have, and if they get the same rewards from them.... 
    It's a place where beautiful isn't enough of a word....


  • pitter-patterpitter-patter Posts: 631
    edited 28 May
    Doing ‘nothing’ can mean so many things to different people. Some people might consider my life very poor and unadventurous. From the inside though it seems full of wonder and love. The opening of a flower bud, rain on the window and birds singing their mysterious songs, the feel of the earth under bare feet... Life is rich without having to go very far.

    I get exasperated when asked in school ‘Are you doing anything special at half term?’ Or ‘Are you going anywhere special over the holidays?’

     I confess, I’m a bit of a hermit. I would travel to some distant place for some natural features, but not necessarily for man made things (though I’m fond of art and gardens are man made as well). The truth is that I don’t feel I need to go very far to be filled with wonder and to feel alive.

    I’m sure a lot of people won’t understand (that’s why I’m almost friendless), but during our lifetime we’re bound to meet a few that do understand. Nobody can measure a life from the outside. What one perceives as a ‘wasted life’ from the outside, can be the richest life, the most rewarding, the closest to beauty and truth. Let’s keep on doing ‘nothing’.
  • herbaceousherbaceous E. BerksPosts: 1,122
    Isn't he the one who didn't make it?  Actually I feel more like Oates!
  • B3B3 Posts: 10,021
    That's who I meant. As a historian, I would make a great gardener.😕
    In London. Keen but lazy.
  • EricaheatherEricaheather North West uk Posts: 197
    I really wouldn't take it to heart. If they're not gardeners they have no understanding of how much love and joy goes in to our hobby. I was the same as your relatives, encouraging my in laws to get a hobby. They did some gardening but very little. My concern came from the heart, and all I saw was a few trips out and very little in the way of enjoying or enagaing themselves. Rightly or wrongly I tried to encourage them to take up a hobby too. This was purely out of concern for their mental well being as from the outside they seemed to be stuck in a rut doing the same thing day in day out - and your post has made me realise...if they enjoy that so called "rut" who am i to push them away from it. We obviously all view the way we spend our spare time very differently as to wether its worth while or not - it's all about what makes us happy. For me, you and a lot of others on here, our gardens are our haven. For others it's a chore. I'm sure your relatives meant no insult nor harm, they just don't realise what drives us. I'm sure, just like me, what they tried to say came from the heart 
  • EricaheatherEricaheather North West uk Posts: 197
    Doing ‘nothing’ can mean so many things to different people. Some people might consider my life very poor and unadventurous. From the inside though it seems full of wonder and love. The opening of a flower bud, rain on the window and birds singing their mysterious songs, the feel of the earth under bare feet... Life is rich without having to go very far.

    I get exasperated when asked in school ‘Are you doing anything special at half term?’ Or ‘Are you going anywhere special over the holidays?’

     I confess, I’m a bit of a hermit. I would travel to some distant place for some natural features, but not necessarily for man made things (though I’m fond of art and gardens are man made as well). The truth is that I don’t feel I need to go very far to be filled with wonder and to feel alive.

    I’m sure a lot of people won’t understand (that’s why I’m almost friendless), but during our lifetime we’re bound to meet a few that do understand. Nobody can measure a life from the outside. What one perceives as a ‘wasted life’ from the outside, can be the richest life, the most rewarding, the closest to beauty and truth. Let’s keep on doing ‘nothing’.
    Love it! Well said!
  • raisingirlraisingirl East Devon, on the Edge of Exmoor.Posts: 3,531
    edited 28 May
    My Mum used to come to stay with us (not in this house, sadly, the previous ones) and she'd a) bring a car full of plants, b) bring her gardening clothes and she'd be straight out in the garden talking to me about what I'd done, what was doing well, what needed doing. And however long her stay, she'd spend some time pruning or planting or digging or helping in some way. She loved her garden and loved that I love my garden, so she took a lot of pleasure in helping me to learn and to make my garden better. We'd talk on the phone for ages about 'nothing' (i.e. our gardens).

    After she died, it took me some time to get used to gardening for my own sake, without anyone else to ever notice changes, or appreciate what I'd done. OH is slowly learning to - it's not an interest he grew up with. When my in-laws came to stay, they'd usually not go out at all unless the weather was perfect and then they'd normally wait until I was busy doing something else - cooking their lunch most likely - and go out on their own so they didn't have to talk to me about it at all. I didn't mind that they never helped - each to their own - but it wasn't that they weren't interested in gardening. They'd quiz me about what they could do with their own place, and frequently got me doing stuff to help them. But it was never reciprocated.

    I think it's quite rare, even in close family, to find a kindred spirit who can genuinely enjoy your garden apart from whoever it was that inspired you in the first place. 

    It's marvellous that you have such a rewarding hobby, @Guernsey Donkey2 . And @pitter-patter - I completely identify with what you said  :)
    It's hard to love, there's so much to hate
    Hanging on to hope when there is no hope to speak of
  • Guernsey Donkey2Guernsey Donkey2 Posts: 6,173
    Your responses were interesting and helpful, and you seem to understand how it feels to have your efforts overlooked, I felt a real kick in the teeth with their dismissal and comment.  Gardening is my hobby and I sometimes wonder if I have gone a bit over the top with it.  I watch gardening programmes, read gardening books and receive gardening presents too.
    I used to make greeting cards big time, supplying shops, offices, charity stalls as well as family, but when we downsized into this tiny house, there was no spare room for me to continue although we had this enormous garden.
    At least I can say that I am far more appreciative of the smaller things in life, rather than looking for the next expensive treat or thrill.
    I can agree wholeheartedly with you pitter-patter, isn't it strange how 5 of us came from the same parents and yet all can have totally different outlooks on life.

  • PosyPosy Posts: 1,593
    I think you should try to see the funny side, GD. Other people's interests often pass us by without our ever realising it. An acquaintance of mine is a fitness obsessive, desperately competitive. She talks to me for HOURS about her targets, her training, her achievements, statistics, heartrate, muscle mass....  on and on. I KNOW that I respond badly, I don't understand and I'm bored out of my mind. I'm a perpetual disappointment to her. She only tells me because I'm there. I haven't suggested she get a hobby, though!
  • PicidaePicidae RutlandPosts: 709
    When was this law passed that said we must be doing productive things? I’m retired now and I relish alternating my days between doing sod all and bugger all. If I want to watch TV in the afternoon I do and just give a withering look to those who speak condescendingly of doing so. 

    I think your relatives were were incredibly rude and insensitive, Guernsey Donkey. I bet you would have loved to have acerbically put them in their place but no doubt you are too well mannered to have done so. Metaphorically put on a red hat next time they visit - though they would not be invited again if it was down to me - and give them some tongue pie.
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