@isobel222. No one would think badly of you when you have other commitments. Just because the grave was neglected doesn't mean that she didn't get your love and attention when she was with you. Just start by pulling out a few weeds at a time and I am sure you will gradually realise what else to do and plant something suitable to remember her by. Maybe Cat Mint?
I do have other commitments and gardening really doesn't come naturally to me at all. I walk in and out of the house without really looking at the garden, but the cat's grave is very important Thankyou, that's big help!
I'm sure we all have things that get away from us now and again. Don't feel bad about it, just take a few minutes whenever there's a fine day to go outside, pull up a weed or two and think of your old friend. Then when it's tidy you can think about something low-maintenance to plant there.
Doncaster, South Yorkshire. Soil type: sandy, well-drained
If keeping the grave tended is more than you can manage, maybe you could leave the grave to nature and find another way to commemorate her. Maybe you could do some voluntary work for a cat charity, or make a donation in your beloved cat's name if you have a little money to spare.
Reading between the lines, I suspect you are suffering from depression, as I have for many years. The death of a pet is certainly enough to trigger it, and putting off a task and then beating yourself up over it is a common symptom. It's good that you have asked for our help rather than struggling on alone. If you aren't already being treated for depression, the next step is to consult your GP. Mine referred me to a psychiatrist who agreed that I was suffering from clinical depression, then wrote to my GP recommending medication.
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Reading between the lines, I suspect you are suffering from depression, as I have for many years. The death of a pet is certainly enough to trigger it, and putting off a task and then beating yourself up over it is a common symptom. It's good that you have asked for our help rather than struggling on alone. If you aren't already being treated for depression, the next step is to consult your GP. Mine referred me to a psychiatrist who agreed that I was suffering from clinical depression, then wrote to my GP recommending medication.
Maybe it's time to get another cat?
I hope your treatment is going well. I have had psychiatric treatment, it can be frustrating at times. Worth it, obviously