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Appreciating what you have.

KT53KT53 South WestPosts: 6,971
I was in the front garden this morning when an elderly lady asked me where No151 was.  We live at 53 (hence my userid).  When I told her where it was her face dropped, and she asked where the nearest bus stop was.  That is also a long walk and I could see she was getting stressed.  I offered to take her up to 151 and she said she just wanted to look at it because she had lived there 30 years ago.  We have been in our house longer than that which is relevant to what happened next.
I stopped outside 151 and she said "Yes, that's the number but the house didn't look anything like that when I lived there".  I know the houses were built in the 1950's so alarm bells started ringing loud in my head, even more so when she asked if I could drop her at the bus stop as she could get home from there.  I asked where she lives now in order to drop her at the correct stop, and she gave 151 as her address but was insistent that it was in the next suburb out of town.  The road name doesn't exist there, and there is nothing even similar.
I then decided the best course of action was to take her to our local police station, and on the way there she was pointing out all the road names and saying they are the same as where she lives.  At this point she still thought I was taking her to the bus stop and said she'll just ask the driver to drop her at ****, (the road we were in).  About the only thing she said which actually made sense was "Oh dear, my husband will go mad if he knows this has happened again", so a moment of clarity in a sadly very befuddled brain.
I finally called in to the police station and they took her into the office and have hopefully found out where she actually lives. 
I was feeling sore, stiff and frustrated in the garden because I can't get on with things properly because of my duff knees and hip.  By comparison I have no problems at all.


  • DovefromaboveDovefromabove Central Norfolk UKPosts: 80,385
    Oh bless her ... and bless you too KT53 ((hugs))

    A similar thing happened here shortly after we moved in ... we saw an elderly lady standing outside about to knock on the door ... she'd come to see her friend ... the folk living here before us were a young couple so it wasn't them ... my friend who was visiting ran up and down the street asking folk if they knew who she was as she didn't seem to know and I got a chair and sat her down as she was exhausted having obviously walked some way ... eventually someone put two and two together and identified her and we were able to get her home to the other side of the village ... her husband and daughter were frantic. 

    As you say, we need to appreciate what we have while we have it :)
    “I am not lost, for I know where I am. But however, where I am may be lost.” Winnie the Pooh

  • BenCottoBenCotto RutlandPosts: 3,785
    That that very kind of you, KT. Hats off to you.

    Some while ago I took my mother to visit the house we moved out of in the late 1950s. I knocked on the door to ask if the owner minded if we took a couple of pictures of the outside of the house, explaining that it was our family home in the 1950s. “Yeah, fine,” said the owner and promptly shut the door. If it had been me, I would have loved to learned about the house and the neighbourhood over half a century ago.

    By contrast, we had an Australian visitor to our village looking in the church graveyard for the tombstones of some ancestors. He was directed my way (I have written a book on our village history) and we had a long chat and went back to the church to find the gravestones. I then took him to visit a couple of the residents who have strong ancestral connections in the village. I introduced Tom to Betty and over a cup of tea and biscuits - he loved such archetypal hospitality - they discovered not only did they have ancestors in common, they were actually first cousins once removed. Neither was aware of the other’s existence. They’re still in touch with one another today.
  • TopbirdTopbird Mid SuffolkPosts: 7,319
    edited February 2019
    Some years ago I'd just started working in admin at a local psychiatric hospital. One of the wards was an assessment unit for people believed to be suffering from dementia or Alzheimers. They were there for assessment 24 hrs a day for a couple of weeks so that an appropriate care plan could be devised.

    The entry door onto the wards was usually unlocked (a locked door could be construed as imprisonment and required special permission) but there was a series of locks which had to be opened in a certain way. Everybody, including relatives, who needed to could come and go without any problems but the lock sequence was too complicated for most of the patients to work out or remember.

    One day I was working in the office when there was a knock at the door. Chap in his sixties wearing a work jacket and trousers and carrying a work bag. He said "I'm all done now - would you mind letting me out please?"

    I said "Oh I didn't realise we were having any work done today - what was it?"

    "The bathroom taps - but they're sorted now"

    Then he started chatting about the weather and how he did a lot of work here, how nice the staff were etc etc. All a normal everyday conversation but I still thought it was strange I didn't know there was a workman on site.

    Checked with a nurse - "Oh that's our 'Joe'. He was a plumber and he thinks he's doing a job here. Spends all day asking people to let him out." 

    He was very convincing and on good days seemed very 'normal' - but sadly his Alzheimers was quite advanced. Apparently he was let out a few times by well meaning but unsuspecting visitors and members of staff.  

    Very sad - he seemed such a lovely chap.
    Heaven is ... sitting in the garden with a G&T and a cat while watching the sun go down
  • hogweedhogweed Central ScotlandPosts: 4,050
    I know from close experience just what a b*gger Alzheimers can be. The brain just rots away and all the normal connections get broken bit by bit. My friend - diagnosed in her early sixties a couple of years ago - cannot now do the simplest of things and her speech has almost all gone. So sad and cruel. 
    'Optimism is the faith that leads to achievement' - Helen Keller
  • AnniDAnniD South West UKPosts: 10,567
    Your kindness is appreciated by me KT53, my mum has dementia, and although she can hold a conversation, she will repeat the same question over again .l would like to think that if the same thing happened to her (which is very unlikely as she can hardly walk), someone like you would be around. As you say, it makes us appreciate what we have  :)
  • LynLyn DevonPosts: 20,870
    We should moan about back aches, puts it all into perspective doesn’t it. 
    I hope some kind people will be around when or if we get to that stage in life. 
    Gardening on the wild, windy west side of Dartmoor. 

  • PalustrisPalustris Posts: 3,919
    When we moved here, the big farm house at the end of the lane was used as a hostel for severely mentally women. One day I saw one of them walking down the lane. She was wearing slippers and a short nightdress. The temperature was -5c and she was blue with cold. I persuaded her to let me drive her back up to the farm where they had just started a search for her.
    At the Home where my mother went to live when her paralysis got too bad for her to live on her own, we always joked about the 'escape committee' who clustered around the exit to the place. Staff told us that they had to be very careful about opening the door as these old ladies were so quick to leave.
    Lovely to hear so  many people going out of their way to be kind.
    Kudos to you all.
  • DovefromaboveDovefromabove Central Norfolk UKPosts: 80,385
    edited February 2019
    Not necessarily the case @islander ... my mother went through a phase where she was constantly anxious .... anxious about her husband (where was he; he certainly wasn’t the old man who was my Pa) her children (why weren’t they back from school) her mother (she’d not seen her in weeks) the animals (she needed to go out and feed the pigs and hens and milk the cows - they had been farmers before retiring) ... her worries were myriad and endless and caused much anguish for her and Pa and the family and difficulties for her careers until at last a wonderful mental health specialist nurse prescribed medication to lessen anxiety ... 
    “I am not lost, for I know where I am. But however, where I am may be lost.” Winnie the Pooh

  • nutcutletnutcutlet PeterboroughPosts: 26,625
    islander said:
    Thing is that they are free of fear over it with their lack of awareness. 
    If only that were true
  • Hampshire_HogHampshire_Hog Hampshire Coast 100m from the seaPosts: 1,089
    Reminds me of a lady and I do mean lady in the village where I use to live when I was young.

    The family were extremely wealthy had gardeners, house staff and a number of  chauffeur's but the old lady would always insist on driving herself and would often get lost then two of the chauffeur's would have to go and get her to bring her home.

    It eventually stopped when apparently on one shopping trip she ended up in North Wales.

    "You don't stop gardening because you get old, you get old because you stop gardening." - The Hampshire Hog
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