Forum home Garden design

Easy planting for a new grave

Hi. This is my first post and hands up - I'm no gardener! 

My mum died in May and now my dad and I have a grave plot to plant and tend. It'll mostly be him as I'm a distance away. He has less idea than me.

The site is a lovely open sunny site and I just don't know what to put on for year round interest and colour. Obviously it's not a huge area. My idea for it us to include lots of herbs maybe. But I would like some autumn and winter ideas. I'll plant some bulbs in a few weeks but I am looking for suggestions as to what I can plant now that dad can can manage and that will look bonny and bright. I was thinking maybe some Heather? Is it the wrong time to put some in?

Mum loved gardening and I'm sure she'd have sone ideas ???? In her absence - does anyone have any suggestions?


  • Paul B3Paul B3 Posts: 3,060

    My deepest condolences for your loss ;

    I lost both mine a few years ago within 24 hours of each other (quite a body blow) !

    Not very original maybe , but how about a nice rose bush (maybe find one with her name?). Underplanted with spring bulbs and Primulas , the effect could be both pleasing and fairly low maintenance.

  • Oh goodness - that must have been awful. How very sad. 
    A rose bush would be nice - but they'll have finished flowering for this year won't they?
    Looking for something immediate really. And then also longer term.
    Thanks for your reply ?

  • pr1mr0sepr1mr0se Posts: 1,185

    Perhaps one of the smaller hebes - Heartbreaker or Magicolour is pretty all year round.  I have found them easy shrubs and I do like the variegated leaves.  Have a look at the many varieties and see if there is one that would be happy where it is to be planted (you don't say which part of the country, and the far north would be a more difficult region than in the southwest, for example.)

    Bulbs for the spring - rockery daffs (like tete a tete) are pretty sturdy and they can be left in place and will increase over the years, too.

    It is sad to have lost your mum - but how lovely that you and your dad can find a way of keeping her memory alive.  Personally, I much prefer growing plants than cut flowers on a grave (and plastic ones are even worse!).

  • AnniDAnniD Posts: 11,418

    I'm sorry to hear about your mum . Are there rules you have to follow with regard to the planting? Our local cemetery has a fair few rules and regulations.

  • TopbirdTopbird Posts: 7,880

    It's a lovely idea to have a pretty and well tended plot FDG - a nice way to remember your mum.

    If you want some instant colour now I would be tempted to visit the garden centre and see which annuals they have still flowering and for sale. They may have things such as Busy Lizzies and begonias which (if dead headed) will continue to flower into the autumn.

    For longer term planting I would consider bulbs and small perennials and, perhaps, a rose and an evergreen.

    For winter scent you could try one of the winter box (Sarcococca) They are evergreen & have a delicious scent in winter. They grow quite slowly and can be cut back to size and shape as necessary.

    For a rose I would select something which flowers summer long, has good disease resistance and a good fragrance. If you can find something with an appropriate name or in your mother's favourite colour that's a bonus. Don't forget that some roses grow rather large - you need one of the smaller varieties. If you get in touch with one of the specialist rose growers (David Austin or Peter Beales) their staff will be happy to try to help you select something appropriate.

    Snowdrops, crocus, tete-a-tete mini daffs, muscari are bulbs which would all give a lovely spring show and you could also plant lots of cyclamen - you can get some for autumn flowering and some which will flower in spring.

    The native primrose (primula vulgara) would look lovely and some forget-me-nots might be appropriate too.

    Hope this helpsimage

    Last edited: 12 August 2017 16:43:30

    Heaven is ... sitting in the garden with a G&T and a cat while watching the sun go down
  • AuntyRachAuntyRach Posts: 4,982

    Hello - it is lovely to hear that you are planning something positive at a sad time. 

    I like the ideas re Spring bulbs, as you can have something that will grow over once Summer arrives. Herbs could be tricky as they need specific soil and Sun requirements. Have you considered a wild flower patch? Or maybe some rockery style planting like Erigeron (little daisies), Sedums and Alpines? 

    I hope you find something that will be just right - take care. 

    My garden and I live in South Wales. 
  • KT53KT53 Posts: 8,029

    If the grave is in a cemetery you will need to check with the local authority to see what is permitted.  Many don't allow any planting because it creates difficult with mowing.

  • LynLyn Posts: 21,869

    In our Devon Churchyards there is no planting allowed from 9" away from the stone, which means flowers in the pot or on the foundation only.  Cemetaries are a bit more lax. Of course, rules are often broken, but be aware that some of the council grass cutters have little respect for planting and may go over the lot with a strimmer.  We've seen that many times. 

    Gardening on the wild, windy west side of Dartmoor. 

  • CFCCFC Posts: 71

    Rosemary for remembrance. Evergreen, aromatic and fits the bill for a herb.

    Sorry for your loss.

Sign In or Register to comment.